BY Michael Bamidele
Sometimes, we all experience some form of helplessness at different points in our lives. It is that moment in your life when you’re no longer in control. You feel powerless. It is that point when you feel things aren’t going the way you planned. You feel exhausted or overwhelmed.
A career path has gone wrong. A dying relationship. Loss of a loved one. You never seem to find the right guy or woman. Or everything is just crashing.
It’s hard to make meaning of life when you feel helpless and things are not going the way you thought they should. First, you don’t seem to get it. Then you begin to doubt yourself. It’s even worse when your colleagues or friends seem to have it all figured out. But you don’t.
Why bother? “What’s even the essence of all this?” You ask yourself.
Don’t be too hard on your self:
Often, when we find ourselves in a difficult place, it is because we want to live up to an expectation set before us by society, friends, parents or even ourselves. Each time we fall short of that expectation, we crawl in our shell and mentally beat our self.
Life can indeed be hard sometimes and you feel like you’re drowning in your problems. But remember that the first thing to do when drowning is to try to stay calm.
Reflect and Reassess:
Reflect and don’t worry. How did you get to this point? Do you know how detectives recreate a crime scene? Re-trace your step. Where did you slip? The essence of this is to find yourself.
Remember those expectations, standards or goals you weigh yourself with? Maybe it’s time to reassess them. What and which is realistic or achievable? What is important?
It is easy to wallow in your tears, crawl into your shell and assume the world has abandoned you. Don’t be too hard on yourself, rather get help.
Whatever the situation might be you should see someone who has been through it, to help you walk through it.
Re-channel the energy:
Channel the negative emotions into something else. There are several reports of creatives who created beautiful art in moments of helplessness. J.K Rowling practically wrote her way out of depression.
Actively pursue happiness:
Happiness and comfort are not the same things. We all want to live comfortably. Have the best things money can buy and it’s perfectly okay.
Actively pursue the basic things of life. Things that make us brings pure joy such as the feeling of being loved or appreciated. A hang out with family and friends. Go out. Meet new people. Read new books. And maybe, you’ll see things from a different perspective.
While we are all trying to make meaning of life and find purpose — it’s perfectly okay to fail or fall. But, remember when you do fall as Denzel Washington put it: “Fall forward”