Communication is important in every relationship. Some people are poor communicators, leaving their partners to draw conclusions incorrectly, poor communication skills demand the other partner make assumptions, which normally end up being incorrect. Below are some ways to avoid arguments when discussing and communicate effectively:
When you plan to discuss with your partner, ensure the timing is right for both of you. Do not have sensitive discussions when they are stressed, or you are stressed out, it is easy to have discussions that will lead to arguments when you are stressed. The best time is when you are both settled and can be rational and logical.
Validate their feelings
It is also important that before you start an important communication, validate their feelings. Do not make them feel like how they feel is not important or the relationship centres only around your feelings. Psychology Today defines invalidation of feelings as “when we recognize emotions, positive or negative, coming out of a person, and either discount, belittle, minimize, ignore or negatively judge these feelings.” Before any sensitive discussions, give them an assurance that you understand their feelings.
Explain your non-verbal cues
Your partner might not understand your non-verbal cues and this can lead to constant misunderstandings. It is important that you take time to understand each other’s non-verbal cues so as to make communication go smoothly between you and your partner. Psych Central has an entire list of nonverbal signs in a partner that show various states of mind, from the tone of their voice to their physical distance and whether they’re gesticulating; they may not know what they’re doing, but it will be better if you do. You should also pay attention to what you’re doing, as you may not realize that you’re sending off signals of distress or anger, but your partner might, and will react to them accordingly.
It is important that you choose your words carefully so as not to appear rude or disrespectful. If your partner does something wrong and you use words such as ‘you always do this wrong,’ or ‘you never listen,’ they will eventually build a wall of resentment. Every human being is emotionally fragile with people they truly love and if you keep saying negative things to your partners, it will lead to built-up resentment.
By Modupeoluwa Adekanye