By Elizabeth Badejo
Marriage is a lifetime journey of learning to love each other which can sometimes bring about other disclosures even when you think you have come a long way together and both have what it takes to build a rock solid life together.
There are several videos trending on social media on how couples are coping during this lockdown. Even though they are amusing considering how lonely and miserable the days can suddenly become, yet the sarcasms are the realities in many homes and a reminder that many couples are struggling to tolerate one another as they continue to reveal those characters less visited but now apparent due to continued isolation together. Below are steps to prevent conflicts as the lockdown persists.
Do not focus on weaknesses
It is pertinent now than ever before that many people will spend this period of lockdown observing their spouses, looking for weaknesses they can exploit and grant needless considerations. The truth is that some people find it difficult to give their best under constrained or controlled situations and they become objects of criticism for their failings. When you term a spouse as ‘weak’ it may well mean that you are both lacking in relationship building skills which are the tools couples need to support one other.
Do yourself a favour and come to terms with the realities of your marriage and begin to get off your high horse too. Focusing on your spouse’s weaknesses is insensitive especially in this strange time when you are both trying your best to cope against all odds.
Do not be judgemental
This is not the right time or place to become critical of your spouse’s common flimsy habit if it does not put anyone at risk in any way. Perhaps, you have decided to make this situation a time to think about making better choices for your family by cooking healthy foods. However, your spouse may be indifferent and prefers to bend all your rules if they are not ready for the commitments involved. Remember that you are both under enormous stress and how you both handle your feeling can vary from person to person. Do not become judgemental as that will only frustrate your good intentions to make them see the benefits of your plan. Therefore, endeavour to bring in your best in your interactions with them.
Do not over-react
There have been several reports of mistrust in some marriages as couples isolating together have become even more separated from one another because an act of infidelity may have been discovered. Perhaps, you stumbled on your spouse making a private conversation on their phone which made you suspicious coupled with his previous shrewd behaviour around the house. It is certainly difficult to feel emotionally connected or safe with a spouse who may be cheating on you especially when you believe that he has always had your best interest at heart.
However, with the situation at this time, it is important to stay calm and act sensibly so that you do not over-react and put yourself in a miserable situation because it is one of two things. Your spouse is either openly dishonest or you are both responsible for creating the feeling of insecurity in your marriage due to lack of trust.